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Pendragon Fashion

Camelot hasn’t been this fashionable since Jackie Kennedy! Guy Richie’s King Arthur has me longing for the days when quality shearling and fur outerwear was affordable, standard issue. I am seriously coveting Arthur’s long, scrumptious shearling that looks straight off the Burberry runway. And King Vortigern’s daughter’s cropped (ermine?) fur is droolworthy. Even the Vikings get in on the action draped in silver (weasel?) fur capes and pelts. Sorry PETA!

Get the Pendragon Look:

Burberry shearling coat available at Fwrd.com

Lilly E Violetta cropped mink available at Barneys.com

For a toned down look, Fendi Fall 2018 blazer with mink trim

See-Now-Buy-Now is a Joke

Last night, Tom Ford showed a curly shearling fur coat that is available this morning on Bergdorf Goodman’s website as part of their See-Now-Buy-Now inventory. But the joke is on us because stylist Christine Centenera, who sometimes works with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, wore this same coat back in February! Basically, all See-Now-Buy-Now did was move the buying season forward because clearly the clothes existed months ago.

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Women Seeking Rich Husbands

Welcome Ladies, to the first annual convention for Women Seeking Rich Husbands. I am extremely pleased with today’s turnout and our fast increasing membership. I look at your bright, hopefuly faces and am reminded of our motto: “It doesn’t matter what he looks like; it matters what his financial statments look like.

Before I tell you about the exciting events we have scheduled, I want to extend my thanks to the Planning Committee, who worked tirelessy to secure this brilliant location on Wallstreet. Wallstreet is recognized the world over as workplace for some of our nation’s wealthiest men. In the building next door alone, we have a generous selection of lawyers, investment bankers, hedge fund managers, and business tycoons. But lets not get ahead of ourselves, ladies. There will be more on that during Wednesday’s lecture, “Your friend the elevator: how to land the rich man in the building next door.”

To kick off our convention, we will welcome best-selling author, Ivanna Richman, who recently published a new book, “Down the Aisle and Straight to the Bank.” Most of you are familiar with Richman’s other books, including “The Art of Marriage: Refusing a Prenup,” and “The Art of Divorce: Getting what you Deserve.”

At 12:00 we will break for lunch. The Planning Committee has prepared a list of nearby restaurants categorized by menu and the occupation and bank account size of the men that frequent them.

After lunch you will rotate between four half-hour workshops led by some of New York’s most notable socialites, who have turned marrying well into an art form. In Workshop 1, “If I were a Rich Man,” you will learn to distinguish between young men with real ambition, versus those suffering from The Tevia Complex, who have the dream but not the drive. In Workshop 2, “Law or Loser” we will go over which types of lawyers make the most money and which lawyers work for the love of the profession. Remember ladies, Pro Bono is a NoNo. In Workshop 3, “The Hospital Dating Pool; Looking at the Bright Side of Surgery,” you will learn when its appropriate to ask out your single doctor or anesthesiologist. Finally, in Workshop 4, “I Loved a Really Old Man and All I Got was This Lousy Tshirt,” we hear from experts on The Anna Nicole Smith case and where she went wront. Always get it in writing, Ladies!

I now turn the podium over to Mrs. Ivanna Richman. Let’s give her a warm welcome. She knows what she’s talking about.

 

(Written when I was 20)

Morning Routine: Fantasy vs. Reality

Lady Charlotte, the ultimate morning person, wears a nightgown and robe by Kiki de Montparnasse.

Lady Charlotte, the ultimate morning person, wears a nightgown and robe by Kiki de Montparnasse. 

I wake up refreshed and ready to take on the day. My hair is perfectly coiffed and my skin is so radiant I don’t even need makeup today. I let out a huge yawn and spread my arms in a glorious stretch and say, “Good morning, beautiful world.” Blackberry purrs in my ear and I open the window to hear the birds chirping happily. I enjoy a latte and eat a warm, flaky croissant and fresh strawberries. I change out of my silk nightgown and realize I am blissfully happy for no reason.

Then I wake up for real.

I can barely see there’s so much crust in my eyes and I can feel a puddle of drool on my pillow, which is sticking to my face. I immediately start coughing up phlem. I start to stretch my arms and startle Blackberry, who instinctively swipes at me, scratching my wrist and leaving a blood trail that looks like a failed suicide attempt. Great. I open the windows to the sound of construction, specifically a jack hammer. The coffee machine is broken and the milk expired last week. I decide to wear my pajamas, i.e. old sweatpants, to Starbucks.

Ok, so I’m not a morning person.

Please Stay Tuned for our Upcoming Relaunch

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Dear Readers,

Lady Charlotte will be relaunching soon, so please stay tuned. In the meantime, here are some photos we took of our friend Tina at Christopher Schafer Clothier in Baltimore. Tina is wearing pieces by Agent Provacateur and Chantal Thomass that we picked up in Paris last April. Menswear is by Christopher Schafer- please visit christopherschafer.com for more information.

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Photographs by Christopher March

Makeup by Elina Baron